You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
