I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize