Ketchup is God's man juice
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
