you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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