just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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