remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
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I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
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FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You made out with two different species that night
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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