do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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