Can Purell be used as lube?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
