I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
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a search helicopter?!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.