I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.