So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.