Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.