if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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