Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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