D3 body, D1 cock
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
