That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
