he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize