If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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