How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize