So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It's official drugs can't kill me
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
