what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
