Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
