The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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