I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you win again, gameday.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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