Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
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