I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
