Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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