i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Dignity is for republicans.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
