yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
