So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
