it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
