Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
