How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I don't deserve a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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