If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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