so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
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dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
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A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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