I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
