Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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