But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Two words: blizzard sex
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
