I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
