I wish I only lived at night.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize