tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
