I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
