sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
