This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize