I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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