Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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