only if we run a train.
done.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
