Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I think people are normalizing furries
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
