Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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