Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize