3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize