Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
