drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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