Whats the glycemic index on semen?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
