oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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