So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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