I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
