Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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