There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
