I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.