im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
19 Utterly Perfect Responses To ‘Send Nudes’ Texts
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier