How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.